Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What worse than finding crap on the road? Tripping over and landing on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

He who laughs last gathers no moss.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't Jimmy's bedroom door close? Because it had a tree blocking it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -7

69

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: How did the black man get to the first branch on the tree? A: He climbed, like the average person.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

thumb_up thumb_down -7

In the movie, Full Metal Jacket, my favorite part was when the entire platoon beat PVT. Pyle with hard soap while he was tied down. Actually I am lying. That part was extremely cruel.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks in to a bar, so he got hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The kid wakes up in the middle of the night to get some water. But over hears sounds from his parents room. he looks through the keyhole. Then he comtinues walking and says. "Why does mom say i cant suck things?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Luke, I am your father... Uh... Okay, thats chill, so uh, is my last name Vader or somthing? No son, my name is Anakin Skyw... NOOOOOOOOOOO THATS IMPOSSIBLE!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops