how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

What is the anwer to life? (>^v^ )> KIRBY DANCE

What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

What has two legs? Half a cat

Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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