A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Homosexualism is so gay man

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you make a baby cry? You kill its mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the boy get hit by a bus because he dropped his ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A horse walked into a bar, and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?". The horse replied, "It's evolutionarily efficient to have an elongated skull so that I can eat vegetation with ease."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did god say when he saw the first black person? He will do alright for him self

thumb_up thumb_down -4

2 * 2 * 2 * 3 * 2417

thumb_up thumb_down -4

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants. What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming wearing a pair of sunglasses? Like wearing a pair of sunglasses as a dhitty disguise would confuse me. I took law at UCLA before becoming a professional game hunter and I've been in this business for almost 10 years. I think I know an elephant with or without sunglasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the Orange say to the Apple? Nothing. Both of them are lifeless objects, thus lacking the ability to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Cacti are green Clouds are white Spoons are silver Corn is yellow Carrots are orange Asphalt is black Grapes are purple Cinnamon is brown Lets's have sex

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn the people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? cause he had mad-cow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican Cross the road? He was on His way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was walking to his car, racist....just kidding, he was on his way to rob a bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops