Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because, unfortunately, he is blind, prohibiting him from reading anything other than brail. He is, however, an excellent musician.

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Two parrots were sitting next to each other. One parrot said "hey" The other parrot replied "hey" therefore making the first parrot say "hey" which made the other parrot say "hey" again making the... this conversation, comprised of just one word lasted a very long time. aproximately 16749 hours.

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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What is brown and sticky? A Stick

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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The 80's called. They need their couch back.

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, He sailed a boat.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

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What is 33 + 1? Penis

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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Ok is 25 really funnier than 24 because i think 8008 or 5318008 are way funnire tahn 24 or 35 just saying

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I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

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A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

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What did the black guy say after coming home from school? "I just got home from school."

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Steve Steve who? Your friend Steve, you called and told me to come over. Oh, come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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