The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

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Sex

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whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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Ask me if im a tree? No

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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A little boy went to a sleep over . They watched a episode of pokemon and the flashing lights triggered the boys epilepsy he was driven to hospital and is recovered.

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Why did the kid fall off is bike? He was hit by a bus.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops