Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

Why did the Chinese man fall down the stairs? He was shot in the face.

What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

A man walks into a bar. Ow

A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

A man walks into a bar his alcoholism is tearing his family apart

Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

Q: What did the gun say to the person. A: Bang.

Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

WHAT DYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEAN YE DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?

What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

What did little John get for his birthday? No sort of disease or illness of any kind because he was in perfect health. He also got an Xbox.

What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

a cop wrote most of these anti-jokes O.o

In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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