There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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What did god say when he made the first african american? "I got about 3 more humans to go and about 400,000,000 more insects and plants"..

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin get in the car.

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Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

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What's grey and can't swim? A castle.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

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What happens when you mix mints with fizzy drinks Blast off

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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Vote this down and get DOXED

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Who do you call when you see a ghost on the street? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!! no, ghostbusters are not real, you call the police

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four because snakes don't have legs.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

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Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a chicken and was probably not aware that it was walking across a road at all, especially considering that it was likely in a low-traffic rural area.

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what is big and white? Your Mom

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Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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A Canadian man, American man and French man all go to a wive swapping party. The Canadian gets the American's wife, the American gets the French wife, and the Frenchman dies of a brain aneurism and the European wife. is very disappointed in her night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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