Roses are red Violets are red Your flowers are red Yes set your garden on fire

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because I took a swing at it with a golf club.

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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If life gives you AIDs, make lemonaids.

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What's red & is bad for your face? A brick.

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What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

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why did the boy fall off his bike? someone threw a fridge at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops