Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

how do you make a little boy cry? Kill his parents in front of him .

Ted: Joe, do you think I'm dumb? Joe: No, I think you're Ted.

What did the black guy say after coming home from school? "I just got home from school."

What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

An arab says allahu akbar, people respect him as he is pronouncing his religion in his place of worship

Why wasent Toby at school He was hit by a tree

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: *points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways* Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me *sweating bullets* Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

A man walks into an insane asylum and says hello-The inmates assault him with mindless babble. A man walks into an insane asylum and says argblthenthrozaphowea-The inmates say hello.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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