Why did the Teacher cry? Because he was sad.

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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A Chinese man, an Italian man and a French man are sitting in a plane. They arrive in Los Angeles with a 23 minute delay due to atmospheric conditions

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If I tell you that seeing you happy, is my main motivation towards accepting right now, would you believe me?

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What's the best part about having sex with a 9 year old in the shower? Pedophilia is a crime, and the people that do it are very sick individuals. The fact that you even thought there was a 'best' part disgusts me.

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My wife told me that I should see things from a woman's point of view. So I looked out the kitchen window.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To reach his desired destination.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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What happen when Sarah made but her nose in other people's business? Her vagina got set on fire by cole and derrek shoved your head up his ass!

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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canada

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A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

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What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops