A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There is a newly wed couple, a biker and his biker lady friends. The newly wed man says to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey". One of the biker chicks looks over. Five minutes later the man says to his wife, "Pass the sugar, sugar". They biker chick looks back at them and then asks the biker man, "Why don't you treat us like that?" " You know your right. Pass the bacon... lovely". And from that day on the bikers lived in peace and harmony.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did timmy die he was shot in the head by terrorists

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. Why did the 8 year girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I have no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a dead child? The product of a car crash

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

thumb_up thumb_down -13

it's weird how Jesus came out of the cave on the same day as Easter

thumb_up thumb_down -13

sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. I don't see why there should be more.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Man: Hey honey! you look mighty fine today! Want to go play some lax? Woman: I'd love to! Thanks babe! Man: Just kidding you are a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock, Knock? Who's There? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops