There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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Ehh

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Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

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What happened to my sunglasses?

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Your mom is so old she died

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually, 6's fear was totally irrational, and thus unexplainable. This sort of fear is generally referred to as a phobia.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

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Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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