A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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A white man went to the basketball court to play basketball and was confronted by a group of black men. They kindly invited the white man to play basketball with them and they had a nice day

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24

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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The air is green The grass is blue I'm bot stoned.. I'm just high

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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NA LINDOL BA KAPAG NATALON ANG MATATABA :8

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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