boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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What happens when a chemist dies? They are given a proper funeral and buried.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

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A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

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Yo mama's so skinny, she should probably go in for eating disorders' counseling.

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friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

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What's the difference between a red door and a blue door? Fat black people.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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knock knock. who is there ? nobody.you have no friends.

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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HEY!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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