how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I f*cked your mom You have aids.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

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what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

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Bigfoot, Santa, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde all jump off of a cliff. They all reach terminal velocity and at impact at the same time. However, no one really cares.

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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What's more likely to happen in 2011 than the rapture? Finding my real parents.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

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Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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Take part of what?

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i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

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what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

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A bartender walks into a bar, and starts his shift.

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Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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