A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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What do you call a blonde with a broken arm? A cripple.

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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A blond Canadian and his Korean friend are going together to Korea. When checking in the person asks the Canadian if he has a return ticket leaving the country. He replies yes but he does not have it on him. According to Korean Customs and Immigration laws a non-Korean citizen must have a return ticket to enter the country. Inevitably follows a long and tedious process in order to procure the ticket in order to pass customs. The Korean and the Canadian continue to their boarding gate.

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Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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a boy put a blanket oveer his head one night... He was warm for the rest of the night

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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69

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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The sentence below is an anti-joke.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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A paralysed man falls over.

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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( . Y . )

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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