- Anti Joke

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped What's worse than being Raped. Being Raped 2 times by a Giant Scorpion.

Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

What happens when you mix mints with fizzy drinks Blast off

What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

A black man, an arabic man, and a hispanic man are all in a car, who is driving? The black man.

If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

your momma eats so much ice cream, you often find yourself without anything sweet to eat late at night when you're hungry

what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

Did you hear the one about the bus driver? Me neither

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

-Knock-knock. -Who's there? -Interrupting Doctor. -Interrup.. -You have cancer.

Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

Justin Becnel falls off a tree, what happens? He breaks his neck and unfortunately dies.

What's the difference between a black man and a bench. The bucket.

Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.