Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was an avocado

thumb_up thumb_down -15

i dont care if you rate me or not

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A train conducter conducts at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph, if he goes under 2 bridges and over 3 hills what did the conductors mother have for dinner that night. Nothing she was raped then promptly murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Rebecca Black just died, she walked into a stadium and was overwhelmed by the amount of seating choices.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock Knock. Who`s there? Hadooouuuuuuu! Hadou who? KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! PERFECT!!! Perfect Bonus: 38493483948394839483984 Skill 0000000 Your life 0 Bonus 9001

thumb_up thumb_down -17

your so homosexual you go to a gay bar every couple of weeks so you get the social acceptance you need.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

if your in a wheelchair have no hair because of cancer and are being fed through a tube you should wait a couple of years before ending it. and wrinkles into the equation....... BANG

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock Knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? That's right.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

your no better than a cockroach

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

thumb_up thumb_down -17

your a vagina says you, you're a tit

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Rober-to. What do you call a black guy with a big toe? Tobe Bryant

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the dog went inside the church? because the door was open.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops