There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

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Your mother is so fat that it became a problem affecting everyone close in her life. Her new year's resolution was to lose weight, and surprisingly, has become quite healthy since then.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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Josh is sooo great at blowing, xoxo Dylan Hodge.

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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Wanna hear a joke? (Yeah, sure) So do I, got any?

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Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

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You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

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What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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How come Helen Keller never played professional baseball? Because she was a woman

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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