A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted off in space.

Why did the boy make a horribly unfunny anti joke? He was bored.

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

What did the dead man say to God? I'm dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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