What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

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whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? Fly halfway across the world when the environment turns hostile.

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Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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women's rights.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a girl? I've stuck my penis in a pizza

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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What's the opposite of white? Black. You're racist. You fapped.

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What do you get when you cross a rainbow with a unicorn, baby, helmet, a bag of sugar, some watermelons, and a jewish guy's hair? A rainbow unicorn baby helmet with a bag of sugar and some watermelons. and some jewish guy's hair.

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want to hear a cat joke? i'm just kitten....

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Why is Diarreah genetic? It runs in your genes.

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

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This "anti-joke" got me an A+ many many years ago, shortened though, so you can make Your own conclusions. Beware of the rising sight, do not stare at the sunny dry sky... The poles... Do not stare at the blood as it drips it, the sand covered ground soaked red... Cover your ears! The seal is not looking above, with but is shouting to you! "WHY DID YOU FORSAKE ME!!!" HE ASKS AS YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN HIT HIM, smirking sadistically, SMILING, yes... Even LAUGHING! The rain soaks you wet, as the skies themselves cry and hide in shame... ...The seal is broken, so watch as your kin, those among your children twist to hellish beasts whose demon is the only name they bear... Readying to conquer the world! ...Yet they need to be certain, to be certain that your master is gone, yet we have waited FOR TOO DAMN LONG! The master answers no more, darkness covers the skies as the blood soaked earth beyond your feet decays, yet you feel no fear, no adrenaline pumping, no tears, no soul crushing fear! What kind of MONSTER ARE YOU? Darkness falls, you struggle with no defense... No excuse... You BROKE THE SEAL! The first three awaken, as the conquest of this world IS AT HAND OF THE DEMONS! ...This leads to war... To strife, to disease!... Until you cannot run no more... Hope... You fall to your knees saying your last prayers, as the pale one appears before you... Jesus? No, his hateful father which abandoned you over two thousand years ago... ...Salvation you shout to the skies! Our savior is here! As the forces of darkness stare in defeat... Yet as his father, the father of sin, the father of the seal gazes into your soul with red eyes and demonic teeth and laughs, you no longer wonder where is your God, nor what has he become... ...But rather what you made him, the light of glory, now the new KING OF DARKNESS! AND ALL THANKS TO YOU MOCKING THE MEMORY OF HIS SONS DEATH! You had it coming, this world belongs to us... And we are not your kind... TRUE GLORY BE KNOWN TO ALL! THE ERA OF THE TRUE DEMONS IS OVER! ...You are the last remaining, lying on the floor broken, the very last words you hear... ...Revenge is mine! Humanity is dead... You feel the holy spirit, yet all you feel is satisfied quenched screams of centuries, even millenia of revenge... ...Rule new children of the dark, humanity is taking its deepest, saddest last breaths, "The death of my only true son, shall no longer pass me by" God has finally returned... But not to save you... ...God is against you! and you know why FAR TOO WELL!... :You know far too well who I am... But then again, do you know me and what I am at all? You will... Soon enough children of the forsaken one... Because I am his prophet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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