Roses are red Violets are blue

black

A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

A baby seal walks into a club...

What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

theres a fat guy

What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head? a bullet

A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

Your mom.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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MOAR??

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