What's wrong with the muffler man? his body.

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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what did liam weir ask ethan. how much charge do you have

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Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

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guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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A man sat down Then he stood up

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dfsgdf g dsf g sdfg sdf gsd fg sdfg s df g sdf gs df g sdf g sdfg sdf g sdfgsadg awetrawefads f asdf asdrfasrg sdf nfghjml ho ;l jkm gascSDagfgh dj gf hdfgh khdkfgkfgkj gjkf g afg adf g dfgs df g sd fg s dfg sdfg df g sdf g s df gsdf g sdf g f t r j yu k yuilk yiol o l rt wer t wer t we t w e rt w er

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Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

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9/11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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