Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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How do you hit a clown off a swing? There are many was of acting upon this situation but the most successful approach would be hitting the clown with a heavy object,

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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Cry me a river. Then build a bridge and become a structural engineer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

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What did the blonde waitress say to the man with a curly moustache? Good evening, are you ready to order?; yes [x2]; and what would you like with it?; certanly; there you go; no, I'm sorry; right.

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Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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What did the Priest say to the kid walking home alone? Be safe.

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Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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why did the black man jump higher than the white man he was on a trampoline

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What happens when you breed a T-rex and a mammoth? You can't, both animals are extinct.

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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Say this to someone: On a scale from one to ten, what is your favorite color?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops