What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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A bar walks into a man. No, firstly it wasn't a man and secondly the bar didn't walk in. The pedophile just slid it in and sodomized the poor boy.

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What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

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Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

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what is awesome but stupid at the same time? school i lied about the awesome part :p

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't eat pizza

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A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

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id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

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What's black on top, and white on the bottom? Rape.

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

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I17. I17. I17. That was my best impression of a Bingo caller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops