A black man shoots some hoops. One of the bullets bounces off the rim and hits him in the eye. The man dies. His grandmother is still alive to attend his funeral.

Whats the difference between a baby and my freezer? I don't stick my meat in the freezer!

What did the dead man say to God? I'm dead.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Knock Knock Who did that?

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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