Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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What is the difference between a shark and a human? A shark is a type of fish with a full cartilaginous skeleton and a highly streamlined body and a human is the only living species in the Homo genus.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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Tall asians

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

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Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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I was going to tell a joke about your mom's vagina, but that's overused.

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? No. You don't need to, it's quite inappropriate.

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Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

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a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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