what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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