What goes in your mouth long and hard, and comes out soft and sticky? A stick of bubblegum.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? A miracle

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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A brown park bench was bought. After multiple years the color had faded, and the bench was no longer the same shade of brown.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Person1: Have you heard about the girraffe who doesn't eat Georgia peaches? Person2: yes. Person1: Oh, never mind then.

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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How do you get a one-armed kid down from a tree? Wave.

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

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Thats sweet, thank you then.

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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Why did the chines were sunglasses? It was sunny.

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

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What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Ms Leong Sux

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What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops