A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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What's the difference between a 7 year old boy and a 50 year old man? Hair.

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Why did the police officer beat the black man? Because the Internet is able to connect a variety of different types of people together and the off-duty police officer was slightly better at the multiplayer game they were playing.

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

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what do u do if a women serves you lunch in the living room? u tighten the chain!!!!!!

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Why do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles always smile? Because they enjoy there life even though there both blind.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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Lets just say, that I can tell anyone that my brother is one of the top leaders for Interpol (here in the nation we reside in) and that while I do not have the required education to work for interpol, I have connections with them, which allows me to work, well... Yeah, Central.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

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PENIS that is all

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

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What do you call 55,000 clowns exiting a small car? Fiction.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

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Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

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Whats black, white, and Asian all at the same time? A panda

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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Why was the boy sad? Because he looked behind him and saw a pedophile penis in his ass.

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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