When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

A fish swims up your penis...

Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

Manchester City

Kade was sad. He had finally got a girlfriend when he realized he actually liked men.

Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one

Holocaust jokes are not funny. And I don't see the humor behind them.

What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

why cant fat people walk because they are fat

What do you call a man with ADHD ? A man with ADHD.

Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

Chuck Norris doesn't just have a chin underneath his beard. He also has part of his neck underneath his beard.

The 70's called. They had the wrong number.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

How many babies does it take to paint a house? That is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

How do you put in a lightbulb? Call your local electrition

What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

That's about as suspicious as a nun doing squats in a cucumber field.

What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...