Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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Dimes are silver Pennies are brass Why does your face look like an a**

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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