What did the dead guy say to the other guy? "You murdered me." How did he hear the dead guy? He was dead too.

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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He was as tall as a 6 foot 3 tree.

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How many people does it take to light a fag? I love BBW porn!!!!

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

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Guess What!? What?! GIGGITY GIGGITY GOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (ALL RIGHT) OH.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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Why doesnt Santa deliver presents to black children Because santa doesnt exist

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Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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Why was the man alone? Because he was tied to a tree.

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what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He applied for a Visa and was granted authorization to live and work in the United States on a permanent basis.

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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AWWWWWW YEEESSSS!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops