Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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Whats worse than one dead Baby in ten trash cans Getting raped by kobe

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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A guy walks into a bra. The woman screams and calls 991.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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