What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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I am a mime

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An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

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Whats round and bouncy? A bouncy ball

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

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Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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knock knock whos there make up make up who hahahaha you said make a poo

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Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

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Roses are red, violetsvare blue, I have aids, so do you

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Sidney was a man, but not just any man... He was a fishmonger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops