roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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I wonder what happen to John? Oh John I know what happen to him. What happened to him then? He was playing on the bridge and fell off on accident. Is he okay? Damn women of coarse he is not okay!!!

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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Why did the clown chase the boy? The boy was sad and needed cheering up

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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Little kid asks his mom: "Why do zombies eat people?" His mom says: "Becasue honey, your MEAT"

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You say: Why did the chicken cross the road? Response: Why? (or some other answer to a different joke) You say: To get to your house! Knock, knock. Response: Who's there? You say: The CHICKEN!!!!

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Knock, Knock Knock, Knock who? Knock, Knock

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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Two condoms walk into a gay bar. The people in the bar are perplexed that two inanimate objects are capable of locomotion.

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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What's more dangerous, a big rock or a small one? It doesn't matter. You can blame my mom for having me.

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Llamaworm

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women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops