How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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AWWWWWW YEEESSSS!!!

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What rhymes with car? Not kangaroo

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Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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When I was little I used to love to dig up worms. Out of my ass.

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Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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Why does Joel's breathe smell?

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What is the deferince between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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He was as tall as a 6 foot 3 tree.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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What did the dead guy say to the other guy? "You murdered me." How did he hear the dead guy? He was dead too.

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Why doesnt Santa deliver presents to black children Because santa doesnt exist

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He applied for a Visa and was granted authorization to live and work in the United States on a permanent basis.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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