Q: Why did Hitler Kill himself? A: Because his wife couldn't match the pleasure of his massive Nazi Orgies

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Q.What did the German say when he walked into the bar? A.Ich möchte ein Bier bitte. Das würde mich viel besser fühlen. Meine Frau ist gerade gestorben, weil ich sie zu Tode prügeln, und ich bin ein Alkoholiker.

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Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

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Life is like swimming. When you drown you die.

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Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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You know whats funny Aids

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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How do you scare a brunette? Hide behind a door or wall until the unsuspecting person walks by, then jump out and yell.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are....

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Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! *Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins* "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" *BOOOOOOM*" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

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a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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What is the difference between my right hand and my left hand? I used my right hand to stab your mother.

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Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL O LO LO L OL O LO L OL O LO LO L OL OL O LO LO L OL OL OL O LO L OL OL O L OL OLLOLOLLOL OL O LO LO L OL OL O

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Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

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what do you call a black man in a police car? either officer or offender, depending on what role he has in the crime.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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