- Anti Joke

How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? The one from the farm across the street. Can Randy come play outside?

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? The bench can support a family!

Y did the boy fall down the stairs???? He was In a wheel chair

I? Everett

Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

life is like a box of chocolates........no it's not