Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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What do you call a black man throwing jars of flaming fruit preserves at a Jewish basketball player. MEXICO

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

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Why did the man break all his bones? Because his parachute failed to open

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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Where would you find a dog with one leg? Possibly in a vet's surgery, or in an animal rescue home or being cared for by a loving owner.

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Q: What did the lesbian say to her partner? A: We cannot get married in forty five states.

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What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

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Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

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what do you call people who keep reffering to the holocost , and cancer sufferers on this site? sad and sick individuals

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

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Please give money to a local Jew we have had such a bad time please ONLY people who are Jews.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

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What did the biological child say to his adopted sister? We are both loved equally by our parents.

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What's the difference between Jews and Germans? Jews are allowed to have an opinion about the Holocaust and hoot and holler and threaten anyone who has a different opinion than they. The sad, anti-joke part of this is that most morons will actually support this tyrannical bullying behavior. Also, special taxes against Germans that they're not allowed to have a problem with. I guess slavery is okay if you're White.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops