How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

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Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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there once was a frog with no leggs

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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guess what what that wasnt it

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Q: what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? A: mudslide

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roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

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What does the Post Office have in common with a shoe store? Both provide goods and services in exchange for money.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

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women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote, puzzles still don't.

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"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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whats the difference between a bench and a mexican? a bench can support its family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops