What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

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Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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Why did the Asian Kid pass his test? He studied hard.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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what do you call a top thats spining? A spinning top

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How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

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roses are dead violets are gross guess what i'm in your closet

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How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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One day, a woman was walking down an alleyway at midnight She reached the end of the alley and realised that it was a dead end, as there was a brick wall, so she turned around and headed on back home.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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What's blue paint and smells like red paint? Paints

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Rivals? Someone from the past? Erron, who is "WE"! Tell me now!

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Who's dumb and retarted. A person that is dumb and retarted.

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What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

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Hi my names Sarah and I love baby's. I don't think I could eat a whole one though

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whats worst than a trashcan full of dead babies? A baby eating the dead babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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