Bob Saget

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

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What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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the lemon was sweet.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

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what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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