Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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Guess what? SHADAP

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

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What's brown? My toilet hahaha

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

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Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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A fairly-priced Apple computer.

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how do you own a ginger? you don't nobody wants them.

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What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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