Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock. Who's there? I left my car keys inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

H2O corndogs running around naked CC

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was staples to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

AWWWWWW YEEESSSS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why was the man so good at holding stuff? he was born with 4 arms!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Remember those days where we planned what to do with our lives instead of wondering what things lied ahead? Those where the days, it does not matter if we are relics, heroes, or villains today. Back then, we did not seek to discover our future, we sought to create it, back then our people did not pray for a better day, but worked for it. And love and kindness was not something only found in heaven, but what we shared in what was the closest thing, to heaven on earth. Tell me the truth, are there many like us left in this world?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops