How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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how did the little black boy cross the river? he walked over the bridge.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My wife is dying of terminal brain cancer."

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a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple All of the antijokes about it

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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are you from Tennessee, cause i wanna rip out your throat you piece of dirt

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I agree Detroit sux. But the bulls suk too ya know

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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A White guy, Black guy and Hispanic are all on the same bus. They get off at their predetermined stops and continue their day.

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Yo mama so fat......Hiroshima.

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Crowded elevator smell different to midget-Confucius say.

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What was Tiger (from Whinnie the Pooh) looking for in the toilet? Pooh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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