Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

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Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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Why didn't the guy have kids? He didn't want them

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Women's rights

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What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? To get to the other side!

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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yolo your orange looks orange

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

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Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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Q: Why do black people like fried chicken? A: Because it tastes delicious!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops