How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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Q; What is green and eats rocks? A; The green rock eater... Q;What happens when you through a rock straight up in the north pole? A; The green rock eater eats it..

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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Did you know that if you say "gullible" slowy, it still sounds like you're saying "gullible."

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Q: Why was the gorrilla arrested? A: He broke a law.

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A sheep croses the road It gets hit by a car.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

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Why are some people so emotional? Because some their family were hit by a train and then died the next day of lung cancer.

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

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What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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A casual web surfer logs onto a website and reads half a joke.

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Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Call the cops girl They can't unrape you

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's the capital of Hungary? Thirtsy

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Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

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Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

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Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops