Why didn't Jenny's mom give her any Christmas presents? She was a selfish, mean, woman and didn't care about her children.

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how do you save a black man ... u don't

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how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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Why did the man walk up to a bank teller with a gun? He is the security guard; he wanted to ask her for financial advice.

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Knock Knock Who's there Doctor Doctor Who

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Q: What's a crutch's favorite song? A: Lean on me

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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How do you make a person laugh? Tell a good joke How do you make them cry? Tell a sad story How do you make them cry and laugh at the same time? Tell a bad joke

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Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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I brought a parachute as carry on luggage, I was pulled aside at security and missed my flight.

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Q: why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: what 10 year old WOULDN'T?

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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What do you call a black guy with a white guy name? Bradley

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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