What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was six afraid of seven? 7 is greater than 6. Didn't you learn about number lines in 3rd grade?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Ready for something funny? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Canadians

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do u call a bunch of white dudes siting on a bench ......the NBA

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If life hands you melons, you might be dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops