Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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Yo momma's so black, when yo poppa rides her, he says "Look! I'm Hiccup!"

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Why Is Six Afraid of Seven? because he is black.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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