How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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Why did the jew kill himself? He heard a raciest joke and went into a period of depresion causing him to lose all will to live.

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A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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what did batman say to robyn before he got in the car?... "get in the car"

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Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

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How do you offend a black man? Call him a nigger.

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What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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Jimmy went for a walk in the jungle, and he got lost!!

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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What's the same between a white guy and a black guy? They are both white except for the black guy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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"Hey baby, did it hurt when you fell from up there?" "Waaaaaaahhhhh..." "Ok, let me kiss it better."

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops